Damn, I wish Aretha Franklin was in more social contention than these damn angry bird ass Barbies that stay in our popular arena of media. Then maybe, just maybe, some of us would have found our own source of integrity. Yet, Aretha came into the stratosphere of popularity at a different time. These different times allowed a song like “Respect” to happen. Thus, it can be said that Aretha Franklin was ahead of her time, and right on time, with this song.
I just wish many other women would realize that they deserve some ounce of respect.
Question:
Do ex-boyfriends usually want to stay in touch/friends with their ex-girlfriends and actually stay in touch?
I am having an issue getting over him. He left me for this other female. But, he still wants to stay in contact with me. He says stuff like “I still love you” and “I want to get back with you”. Plus, I haven’t gotten over him and I want him back. What advice can you give me on this?
Answer:
Your answer deserves two parts. One will be short and the other one will be much, MUCH longer.
Short answer: Some ex-boyfriends want to stay in touch. However, please be warned that there are those that have ulterior motives. Some want to stay in touch just in case their new relationship doesn’t work. YOU can be the rebound. Others stay in touch because they want you as a side item. YOU are the mashed potatoes in his chicken dinner. So, please be cognizant of his intentions.
Long answer: Now that we have the short answer out of the way, let me address your other issue.
Your other issue is that you lack a certain thing called “self-respect”. You have very little regard for your own integrity and dignity [1]. It is one thing to want to get with someone that you treated badly. Maybe you finally realized that you messed. But, this isn’t the case. He left you for another girl, is stringing you a long, and like a fish you just wiggle and wiggle on the line. In short, you are caught up in a situation of wanting something you shouldn’t even desire because you don’t respect “you”.
Want to know how I understand this? Let me break it down into simple steps:
1.) You had a boyfriend.
2.) You lose boyfriend for another female.
3.) He still stays in contact with you telling you everything you want to hear.
4.) You still go for it because you want to give his lame ass too much credit.
It is like he is Deron Williams and you are the Brooklyn Nets. Oh, he is nice with his game. He can do all the things that make you say “WOW!”. But do you really need to be with him? You can find better in another person (or in Deron’s case, player). Plus, his actions are cancerous. He isn’t healthy. So while you are amazed at his sheer display of skill, you eventually need to realize he needs to be cut off.
As simple as a flick of a finger upon the wall…..
You know, like a light switch.
So, please do us all a favor and stop worrying about getting back with someone that is running game on you. You want to be back with someone that is constantly playing you? Be my guest. However, at some point you need to figure out that he is wasting your time. If he wanted you, he would be with you. That is what men do. You didn’t meet him when he was with another female; he left you for her. Leave this situation and find something for yourself.
‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!
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diaryofanegress
January 27, 2013 at 9:36 am
I still keep in touch with one ex. We talked when he was getting married, when his wife was pregnant and when his son was born.
We’re good friends.
But that’s as far as it goes. We’ve both moved on and happy with other people. It’s possible to do but requires truth , maturity and openness.
may I ask you for a favour?
Can you please contact me via my personal email address?
darcwonn1906
January 27, 2013 at 3:53 pm
Of course I can contact you.
aneerbas
January 30, 2013 at 5:22 pm
Yeah no. Life isn’t a romcom-Nobody is behind the scenes playing a pop song urging you two to get back together.
Staying friends with an ex is touchy at best. But if they’re telling you that bullshit, then cut the cord. Period. No good can come from it.
darcwonn1906
January 30, 2013 at 5:31 pm
Staying friends with an ex is EXTREMELY touchy.
The problem is that many people would hope that their love lives would be a romcom. They have yet to understand that certain situations don’t realistically happen. Or, they don’t get that some people are not meant to be dealing with each other after all.
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