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Stop Trying to Get Your Ex Back – Plain Truth 67

As you all may/may not know, I take time to answer questions dealing with relationships. Many instances, I greatly assist my “clientele”. Other times, I fall short of glory. Still, I give my best opinion based on the reality I deal with. To put it bluntly, I help those that eventually help themselves.

However, there is that question that annoys the devil out of me:

Can you help me get back with my ex?

There is no reconciliation button, bitches.

Part of me wants to say “Hell no!”. I mean, if they wanted to break up then let them go. It does nothing for anyone to be miserable. I understand the notion of “wanting that old thing back”. Regardless, if that person wants to “be free” then so be it.

But wait: it gets deeper. There are always condensed reasons for the break-up:

a.) They didn’t deserve their partner – Many people that want their exes back usually did something to drive that person away. So, can you blame them for leaving? They want to. They want their exes to either “forgive their transgressions” or “give merit to their self-improvement”. Yet, the ex wants nothing to do with them. Too bad.

b.) Their partner didn’t deserve them – Some people need to realize that their exes are just not the right person for them. Oh yes, you love them. You love them with your entire being. Living life without them just seems incomplete. However, that life WITH them was no true walk in the park either. The only thing that is left is to go on about your life and find someone much more suitable.

Believe it.

c.) They are not good for each other – Last, but definitely not least, is the fact that the two people involved just didn’t work out. In some cases, they just don’t have anything in common. In others, there is a conflict of styles, personalities, and even spiritual preferences. We all understand that love knows no bounds. Still, it is the understanding that there are boundaries and restrictions within relationships.

And somethings, a little self love will help rid those feelings. Ha, ha!!!

And sometimes, a little self love will help rid those feelings. Ha, ha!!!

In conclusion, if you are looking to get back with an ex then you need to find yourself a more suitable hobby. It makes no sense to be with someone that clearly doesn’t want to be with you. Even if they did, they would have to figure out if you were right for them. On the other hand, you would have to figure out if they were right for you. Like the infamous Wale said: “Life is a movie; we both say cut/But most times, darling, the sequel sucks”.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

26 Questions Answered: Reply to Diggame Pt. 3

14 May

Well, you know Diggame of Ashy2Classy.Net came with those questions again. Feeling like the blogger that I am, I felt like answering them. And you ALL know how my answers can get: part snarky, part hilarious, and all viable accuracies.

I’m just saying. Peep my answers.

Who would have known that someone else unknown would get more sextape view than one Kim Kardashian (*Cough* Farah Abraham)

Well, Kim Kardashian was a practical nobody, for one. Second, this is a person whom started on the TV circuit. Plus, it if a full-fledged porno with anal scenes. Hers was made with the intent of money and masturbation manifestos.

Is Charles Ramsey a hero, cooning, both, or should we just let the man do him?

He’s a hood cat that happened to be at the right place at the right time speaking on a reality that he, and many others, understands. He is an unintentional hero.

Will people every respect the legacy of Floyd Mayweather?

Many already do. Some may not because Mayweather can be an arrogant prick. But I think he will be alright legacy wise. Men lie. Women lie. Numbers tell a different tale.

Will Skylar Diggins looks get more attention than her game?

I hope she put in more work than A$AP Ferg….

No, not THIS type of work…cot dayummit!!!! Put your clothes back on!

Only if her game sucks monkey balls. Look at Serena Williams. BOTH her looks and her game gets attention (whether you like how she looks or not).

Who would have known Avon Barksdale would be getting it in like this? 4 prison guards pregnant?

I mean, you can’t doubt and underestimate the unknown bounds of loneliness, desperation, and thirst. It gets deep when it comes to those three factors.

Is Chris Broussard with his comments about gay people a douche’ bag or a man of conviction?

Both. He is a douche bag with conviction.

Can Antoine Dobson really pray the gay away?

YOU, sir, shall NOT pray the gay away.

If you can PRAY the gay away, then you were never gay. I’m sorry. Praying the gay away means that you just wasn’t gay in the first place. Whatever works.

Regardless of what you think about Charles Ramsey how can you not love him?

You can NOT love him if you are a unbiased HATER.

Has the word “faggot” become a more hated word than “nigger”?

More than likely. Ask some people out there, being “gay” is the new “Black”. Of course, I don’t agree. I don’t see classless counts of regression, media foolishness, and an economy built of the backs of their enslavement. However, I do understand WHY they would feel that way.

How sad are you that Treach and Vinny of Naughty By Nature beefing now?

Very sad. It is almost silly (to a certain extent). I’m not expecting people to stay friends forever. But damn. At some point you have to stay “on the level” with people.

Has Instagram become a haven for male thirsty behavior?

Why wouldn’t it be? Have you seen the amount of thirst that occurs on Facebook and Twitter? Like I said in the previous answer dealing with the prison guards: thirst knows NO bounds. Oh, and thirst gives no fucks.

Why is the site Thirstiest Dudes on Instagram funny and sad for both the men AND the women?

Because, once again, when it comes to thirst…there are no fucks given.

Doesn’t Charles Ramsey look like the Barber from Coming to America?

Ha! That is hilarious. Then again, K. Michelle looks like a chick that is better suited for taking more shots to the face than 50 Cent.

Is K. Michelle’s new song “I Just Wanna” really a new theme song for women??

Hey! My porno boo gets TWO mentions! And yes, it is a new theme song for all those misguided women that think R&B singers are referencing their lame, boring ass lives. Just saying.

Why folks frontin’ like they didn’t get down with Kriss Kross?

Front if you want: this was real music for real kids.

Kris Kross references their childhood. Many people try to “do away with childish things”. Ask me, childhood was the times in which people was actually “real”. They may have been naïve and a little silly, but they were real.

Why is the information leaking out about X-Men: Days of Future Past starting to make me think the movie is NOT going to be good?

I don’t know. But if this Superman movie is going to be as good as it looks, then Marvel better go for the fucking gold.

Should football player Kerry Rhodes come out gay like Jason Collier did?

I don’t know. Is Kerry Rhode’s career on the tail end like Collins career is? What about Kordell Stewart? He came out already, right?

When is the last time you have listened to any No-Limit music?

As many classics as No-Limit made, I wasn’t their greatest fan. Too much filler. You know I am telling the truth, too.

How bad is the new Lauryn Hill song “Neurotic Society”?

Have you heard a baby seal dying in desperation? It sounds that bad.

Why is it attention whoring by women AND men is apart of the framework of society?

Attention whoring is the framework of our society because many of us haven’t realized that we, as people, serve certain roles. Many attention whores think they are, or seek to be, more important than they really are. Personally, attention whores are annoying. They take up too much time and space being selfish asses just so they can get a spotlight that already has a busted bulb.

Why is it hard to root for the New York Knicks?

This is Melo in the near future: Gone Fishin’

Carmelo is a star that just doesn’t totally cut the mustard. He plays NO defense. REAL star players play some damn defense. I don’t give a damn what someone says in retort. Any star worth talking about played at least MINIMAL defense. Others? They were fucking GREAT at it (i.e. Michael Jordan).

Are web series the best place for African American’s to see diverse TV viewing?

Yes. That is all that I have. Sorry.

With the two judges in Pennsylvania being convicted in the “Kids for Cash” Case will society start to realize that prison is not just a place for incarceration but also a business?

But most of your prisons are privately owned. Thus, they are businesses in all intent and purposes.

Why is Mr. Cee tap dancing around the fact he has been caught with male-prostitutes 3 TIMES??

The same reason Muhammad Ali tapped dance around the ring: it’s what he does. Hip hop isn’t ready for an openly gay artist or DJ. And if it is, then these artists need to open up.

What is Allen Iverson to do with his life without basketball?

Hopefully, not what Antoine Walker has done: become a fucking loser.

Is PBS not churning out some of the best documentaries about African-American experiences? From Slavery by Another Name to The Central Park 5 and now a more specials from Louis Gates.

PBS will always be respectable to me. They try to do what needs to be done. I may not agree with everything, but I can get down with their main premise: giving to the public.

7 Comments

Posted by darcwonn1906 on May 14, 2013 in behavior, brains, communication, dating, desires, education, expectations, God, haters, hip hop, insecurities, life, love, male/female relations, males, men, perceptions, perfect, perfection, reality shows, relationships, women

Tags: Allen Iverson, Antoine Dodson, Central Park 5, Charles Ramsey, Chris Broussard, Farah Abraham, Floyd Mayweather, Jason Collier, K.Michelle, Kerry Rhode, Kim Kardashian, Kris Kross, Kriss Kross, Lauryn Hill, Mr. Cee, Naughty By Nature, New York Knicks, Skylar Diggins

American Education and its Consistent Overhaul – CCL 69

12 May

Reform in education has become as American as apple pie. From the pages of the often referred A Nation At Risk to the high-shooting-but-low-aim having No Child Left Behind, there has always been a sense that American education “isn’t good enough”. Let movies like Waiting For Superman tell it, it is your teachers that sucks. To even back that up, the emotionally charged but highly unrealistic “Won’t Back Down” charged into theaters with low ratings and minimal results. Still, the “reform” idea of education marches on.

Personally, I am partially tired of it and tickled by it in one fell swoop.

It seems like Americans are confused. They want educational reform, yet they stick to educational scripts (standardized testing, homogenized curriculum, etc.) year in and year out. We want our kids to have a well-rounded education, yet we, as a nation, have funding issues surrounding education year in and year out. We champion the charter school movement, yet we ignore the fact that many (but not all) of these schools are no better than their public counterparts year in and year out. We want better teachers, but we don’t make requirements for having “better students” and “better parents” year in and year out. On some level, we have not realized that our words don’t always match our actions or our reality.

It seems as if we “want learning but we don’t want learning”.

Chocolate covered lie: American education needs “reform”.

Well, They Could Be Right

You know what? Maybe there needs to be reform. With dropout rates that seem to be higher than they should and consistent issues happening with our students, maybe it is up to education to make the necessary changes [1]. Maybe we do need more inspirational teachers and innovative approaches. Plus, how would we look if we didn’t try to save all of our children [2]. In short, our nation deserves reform because everyone deserves a high quality of life.

But, There Is More of the Same

Let me say on record: I ABHOR the idea of “education saving people’s lives”. It is partially disabling and wholly stupid.

There, I said it. Don’t like it? Good. Disagree? Great. Education doesn’t save people. People save people.

Oh, and another thing: why are we always trying to “save people”? It seems like every approach to an educational problem deals with “someone saving someone else”. Do we really need to keep up this “Jesus Charade” that envelops everything happening nowadays? How about having people do what REALLY makes a difference: saving themselves? The biggest issue within all of this is that there is always “someone” that should be “saving everybody else”.

Congruently, our educational system is expected to unfairly “save lives”. Teachers are painstakingly asked to “give their all” as teaching jobs and salaries shrink while class sizes grow. Standardization of young minds is the new idea of “success within the curriculum”. More reform is needed because we just “aren’t doing enough”. In truth, if teachers aren’t willing to “throw on a cape” then they need not come close to stepping foot into a classroom.

Only problem with that is many throw on the cape just to learn they don’t have superpowers.

Many tried to push the charter movement to “save our failing students”, yet that didn’t manage to prove very fruitful. In 2009, The Center for Research on Education Outcomes at Stanford University, which tracks student performance in 25 states, noted that only 17 percent of charter schools provided a better education than traditional schools, and 37 percent actually offered children a worse education [3]. That would leave approximately 46% of those said schools doing the same as the other public schools. The ones that are successful, such as KIPP and Uncommon Schools, needed to be studied further to see what truthfully made their programs work [4]. Thus, the charter school movement isn’t (and probably never will be) the answer.

Then again, we still ignore one of the biggest factors in success and failure in this country: poverty. How can we honestly preach equality and equitable education when the U.S. has the highest poverty rate amongst wealthy nations at 22 percent [5]? Those more well off children enjoy the perks of a strong support system and non-academic experiences that provide wealthy learning examples. Meanwhile, our poorer students come to school unprepared, inattentive, and chronically absent [6]. Then again, poverty doesn’t always matter when you have a “will and a way”, right?

Oh, and by the way: high achieving countries like Finland and Denmark have a poverty rate of 5 percent [7]. You do the math.

The Skinny

If our educational system needs reform, then our nation itself needs reform. There are improvements needed to the present system; there is no doubt about it. However, the system is not built to “save lives”. Some of the previous reforms (standardized testing and charter schools) haven’t brought much. We say we want “education for all”, so we need to provide that promise or start confessing that we don’t plan on ever doing such a thing.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect.

2 Comments

Posted by darcwonn1906 on May 12, 2013 in behavior, brains, communication, desires, education, expectations, health, insecurities, Jesus, judgments, life, perceptions, politics, relationships

Tags: charter schools, Education, Education in the United States, Education reform, Jeffrey Canada, Nation at Risk, No Child Left Behind Act, public schools, Stanford University, Uncommon Schools, United States

More Trust Issues – Plain Truth 66

08 May

Hot damn, now THIS is an unsung jam. IF you are familiar with Guru’s Jazzmatazz series, then you know this beautiful track from the first series. Just having the time to listen to N’Dea Davenport over the track makes everything right. In addition, Guru’s basic-yet-profound lyrics always knew how to express the right thoughts. So, it is safe to say that “Trust Me” was a virtually undiscovered gem .

Yet, many people don’t have that trust that is necessary for their relationships to flourish.

Question:

I could use some advice on getting back together with a girl I was just dating. Things were going really well, like amazingly well. We talked every day. Even when she went on vacation, I tried to give her space but she would text me still. Then after a little over a month of this I asked if she was ready to make a commitment. She said she was getting there but wasn’t ready. She has trust issues; she’s been cheated on in the past.

So things were normal for a while. Then she said she felt pressured. So, I back off for a bit.

I call her a few days later and she doesn’t answer, so I send her a text saying I assume she wants this to end. She said she hasn’t been avoiding me, things are just crazy for her now and she didn’t appreciate some of the things I said the night I asked her out. So, I told her I would leave her alone. However, if she wants to try again more slowly I’d like that. Now, her birthday is coming up. Should I contact her to say “Happy Birthday!”? Should I try to talk to her? What should I do?

Answer:

You did all of the right things thus far. She wanted space? You gave it to her? She wanted someone to appreciate her? You became her person. Now, she is need of someone that will just try and be “understanding” through her time of need. You even worked to do that. Thus, you are doing everything that a man in your position “should” do.

However, much of the confusion comes from the fact that the situation happened “suddenly”.

You have to understand the dynamic of trust issues. A woman who experienced infidelity in one relationship may transfer that fear onto every future relationship, causing unnecessary pain and turmoil for both her and her partners [1]. Not being sexist, but women have the ability to “lump people together”. This can cause delusional behavior when it comes to both relationships and life [2]. Therefore, trust issues are a big hindrance to the success of any relationship and state of being.

At least you understand that you have to be supportive. Thank goodness for that!

Personally, I think you should contact her to say “Happy Birthday”. However, I wouldn’t want to try to “rekindle any fires” as of yet. She obviously has some situations she needs to work out. Maybe she should give you a time frame. Or, maybe you should chalk this up as a loss. Still, be a gentleman and demonstrate that you are still thinking about her and care for her.

From here on out, make sure you understand a woman with trust issues. She is going to be partial to having relationship troubles. She may be more fickle than the rest. However, the most you can do is show her that “not all men are the same way”. From what you said, you did what you were supposed to be. Time will tell if she realizes this and comes back or she stays in her own destructive bubble and keep doing what she is doing.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

3 Comments

Posted by darcwonn1906 on May 8, 2013 in behavior, communication, dating, expectations, insecurities, love, male/female relations, perceptions, relationships, women

Tags: Advice, cheating, Dating, Guru, Health, Jazzmatazz, mental health, N'Dea Davenport, Nuff, relationship, trust issues, Understanding

Allen Iverson...The Modern Shakespearean Tragedy

07 May

Reblogged from From Ashy to Classy:

The last few months haven’t been the best for one Allen Iverson from no NBA team wanting to pick him up to his many financial problems He recently has been quoted in his recent divorce court proceedings as saying that he couldn’t even afford a cheeseburger where his wife turned to him and gave him sixty-one dollars. Allen Iverson has had a hell of a rise and a hell of a fall that is reminiscent of Sir…

Karma Ain’t Always a Bitch – Plain Truth 65

04 May

This is a pure classic coming from a crew that is both highly heralded yet not fully recognized. Listen to Cee-Lo show how his lyrical ability pushed him into the forefront. Listen to the rest of Outkast make sense of their present lives (in the 90’s, no doubt). Notice the realities that they speak of. Notice the responsibility that they take for their actions (and inaction). Conclusively, they understand that it is OUR actions that tend to manipulate many of our situations.

Still, people want to say that “karma is a bitch” when we make bad decisions. No, not always. The problem is that many people don’t understand that what YOU DO brings about YOUR issues (most of the time). How can “Karma be a bitch” when people put themselves in their positions. If anything, they need to say that “Karma is great at customer service”.

I’m just saying. Now, I have just the perfect situation to explain that great customer service.

Question:

I’m having problems with my husband. He leaves home and stays gone for 3 to 4 days out of the week. He says he is frustrated because he doesn’t have a job. I asked if he wants this marriage to last and he said he’s not sure. It has been 14 yrs. I THINK HE IS CHEATING! Can you give me any advice?

Answer:

Well, here is the problem in this situation: you are allowing him to do whatever it is he wants to do. This issue, meaning him being gone for 3-4 days, is inexcusable unless he is out on business or checking on family. However, he is doing neither. He is out to “clear his head”? This makes no sense whatsoever.

There is another issue I am beginning to wonder about: how do you actually treat this man? I only ask this because NO MAN should want to spend 3-4 days away from his wife with NO proper explanation. Honestly, this begs me to wonder if YOU may have caused any of this madness. There are two sides to every story. Thus, you should actually try to see where you went wrong.

However, there may be a chance that you have been as supportive as you should have. Sometimes, people deal with significant others that do crazy things. When this happens, all we can do is make the most of the situation. Once that “most has been made”, you figure out what you need to do. You analyze your situation and say “So, should I stay or go”?

Now that you see your situation is headed to utter ruin, you just need to let him go. Maybe he will get it together and get back with you. Maybe he will go on about your business. However, it doesn’t do you any good to hold onto a relationship that isn’t even functional. In short, Karma has come to collect for the product in which (at least) one of you asked for.

As I said before……..

Sometimes in life, we don’t get what we deserve: we get what we negotiate.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

2 Comments

Posted by darcwonn1906 on May 4, 2013 in behavior, brains, Cheating, communication, dating, emotional support, expectations, insecurities, life, love, male/female relations, perceptions, relationships, women

Tags: Business, Customer service, Karma, Outkast, Philosophy, relationships, The Girl Of My Best Friend

The Supposed Existence of Black Privilege – CCL 68

30 Apr

Last time around, I discussed the ever meaningful (and often mitigated) existence of White privilege. It was sparked by a Facebook post that shows little regard or understanding of how this phenomenon affects America. Instead, it worked to make “White issues” equitable with “Black progress due to American struggle”. Nothing against that said post, but it seemed to show plenty of white people not fully understanding THEIR situation. Analogically, it sounded like an owner of a franchise of Subways getting mad when its workers wanted bologna sandwiches.

And I’m talking plain ones. I am not even referring to the fried bologna sandwiches that take you back to your childhood.

Conceptually, many people won’t buy into my logic. To be honest, I can’t really care. Until they give me justifiable proof that I don’t know what I am talking about, they can say whatever. It is one thing to “not like what I have to say”. However, most of what I stated is facts; facts usually remain what they are until further notice.

But now, we have a new phenomenon that I was never aware of: Black privilege. Just like white privilege, Black privilege is the systematic framework used to help explain certain inequalities associated with race and/or ethnicity. Only thing is this; most Black people don’t even know it exists. In fact, many wouldn’t even fathom such a thing. In short, Black privilege exists to some but not the majority.

You ask me, Black privilege exists between Poppycock Street and Hogwash Avenue.

Chocolate Covered Lie: Black people get to take advantage of Black privilege.

Well, Maybe We Do…

You know what: maybe we do take advantage of Black privilege. Maybe there is such a thing. Maybe we, as a race, have unbeknownst advantages that we take for granted. Maybe we do possess favorable factors that racism has allowed us to have. Maybe we are living with situations and aspects that only being Black can grant us.

Then again….

The only problem with all of this is that I don’t buy it.

I have a hard time believing that we have institutionalized advantages that others do not. Many will say that we can have such due to racial inclusivity. Meaning: all races have an associated “privilege package”. Only problem is that America isn’t built that way. To put it bluntly, “America” and “Black privilege” doesn’t go hand in hand.

Still, I have clear examples of people working to convince the masses of “Black privilege”.

LaShun Williams wrote about it for Madame Noire a couple of years back. The problem with her article is that her list was unintentionally comical. Athletic scholarships can never be such since those privileges are earned. The others listed (ranging from our presence causing fear to the ability to create dance crazes) are not really advantageous. In turn, her article would have sat better in the pages of The Onion.

Oh, and by the way: media obsession with Black people can bring plenty of negativity.

Then, there is the interesting article by David Horowitz and John Perazzo. As well thought out and loquacious as the article is, the duo missed something. The situations named in the article (Duke Lacrosse team scandal, OJ Simpson, and Trayvon Martin) became what they were BECAUSE of the negative effects of racism. There were no racial advantages at play. However, the racism that readily exists in America can only exacerbate those situations, making them balloon into compelling measures of unwanted prominence.

The Skinny

The entire “Black privilege” situation is held on shaky ground. As much as people would like to convey, they still have a hard time convincing other Black people about those “privileges”. Also, there is very little solid proof. Most proof given her comedy shorts and/or half-baked ideas. In conclusion, the only “privilege” I can think of associated with my ethnicity is to not hear about “Black privilege” ever again.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

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chocolatecoveredliesdotcom

Stop Trying to Get Your Ex Back – Plain Truth 67

26 Questions Answered: Reply to Diggame Pt. 3

American Education and its Consistent Overhaul – CCL 69

More Trust Issues – Plain Truth 66

Allen Iverson...The Modern Shakespearean Tragedy

Karma Ain’t Always a Bitch – Plain Truth 65

The Supposed Existence of Black Privilege – CCL 68

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